Finding love after a herpes diagnosis can feel daunting, but it’s important to remember that the journey begins within. Before I could find someone who chose to be with me regardless of my herpes status, I had to embark on a deeper, more personal journey—one of self-love, acceptance, and empowerment.
When I was first diagnosed with herpes, I felt a mix of emotions: fear, shame, and the overwhelming sense that I would never find love again. These feelings were rooted not just in the stigma of herpes, but also in unhealed wounds from my past. I realized that in order to truly open myself to love, I needed to address these deeper issues and learn to love myself first.
Healing Childhood Wounds
The path to self-love wasn’t easy. It required me to look back at my childhood and confront the wounds that had shaped my self-worth. Whether it was feelings of abandonment, low self-esteem, or the need for external validation, these unresolved issues had made me believe that I was unworthy of love, especially with a herpes diagnosis.
Through therapy and self-reflection, I worked on healing these wounds. I learned that my worth is not defined by others' opinions or by any condition I might have. This process of self-discovery and healing allowed me to rebuild my confidence and see myself as deserving of love and happiness.
The Power of Self-Acceptance and Speaking My Truth
As I worked on healing, I also learned the importance of self-acceptance. Accepting my herpes diagnosis was a crucial step in this journey. I realized that herpes is just one aspect of my life and doesn’t define who I am. By accepting myself fully, I was able to release the shame and fear that had held me back for so long.
This self-acceptance was transformative. It allowed me to approach relationships with a sense of confidence and openness that I had never experienced before. I no longer felt the need to hide or feel ashamed of my condition. Instead, I embraced my authenticity, knowing that the right person would accept me for who I am.
Through this process, I finally felt empowered to speak my truth. I reached a place where I was no longer afraid to disclose my status, regardless of the outcome. This empowerment came from knowing that I was living authentically and that my value wasn’t contingent on anyone else’s acceptance. Speaking my truth became an act of self-love, and it attracted the kind of love I had been searching for.
Finding Love from Within
Before I could find love with another person, I had to find love within myself. This meant practicing self-compassion, setting healthy boundaries, and recognizing my own value. I began to prioritize my own well-being and made choices that reflected my self-respect.
When I finally met someone who chose to be with me despite my herpes, it felt like a beautiful affirmation of the work I had done on myself. But the real victory wasn’t just in finding external love—it was in the love I had cultivated within myself. This inner love and acceptance were the foundations that allowed me to build a healthy, loving relationship.
The Journey Continues
Finding love after herpes isn’t just about meeting the right person; it’s about becoming the right person for yourself. By doing the inner work, healing from within, and finding the courage to speak your truth, you open the door to the kind of love that is enduring and unconditional—both from yourself and from others.
If you’re on a similar journey, know that you are not alone. It’s okay to take the time you need to heal and grow. By focusing on self-love, acceptance, and empowerment, you can live authentically and create the fulfilling life and relationships you deserve.
About the Author
Cat Dupree is the founder of Herpes Wellness and is dedicated to helping others navigate life with herpes, advocating for education and reducing the associated stigma. With a passion for mentoring and coaching, Cat empowers individuals to heal and feel confident despite their diagnosis.